Sitting in My Room

Sitting in My Room

~Group Poem by TP4, in which each writer contributed at least one 3 line stanza. 

My room is made of bricks

It isn't much but a shelf, bed, and desk

It has a window but I can't see out of it

Sitting in my room

Just enjoying the view

I still can't stop thinking about you

I count the bricks

The time just ticks on by

My choices have led me to this

My mind is playing tricks

Looking at these dirty white bricks

Boogers here and there

Hair balls everywhere!

My room is an 8 by 8

It's very small

My room has a door but it's not like I can choose to leave

1...2...3...faces in the wall

Which one should I talk to

Because I like them all

Sitting in my room

Waiting to be called for bathroom

But all I can do is sweep with this broom

In my room I spend a lot of time worrying

I also spend time wondering

Trust me, every day I hate this place more and more

Don't look, you'll die

Just a side eye

She saw me, there go my points.

My room is sad

It's very dull

Compared to other rooms you'll notice it's incredibly small

The walls are closing in on me

Claw marks on the windows

Screams are everywhere

I feel like bouncing off these walls

My anxiety is going

Just thinking of all these flaws in my wall

Looking in through the glass

You see a girl who is hurt

And dealing with depression.

In my room I dream

About what life could possibly be

But outside is hard to picture.

Sitting in my room

I'm lost to the outside world

Or maybe I never existed in it at all

Locked in a room like I'm locked in my mind

Giving up slowly

Wishing away the time

Worrying about my panels

Trying to use my coping skills

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 things that are happy

The regrets for what I did

Can't go back

There's only one way

This I've grown to know

You'd think I'd go insane

But I'm so used to it

Yes my room may be tons of terrible things

But for now it has what I need

Till I see what freedom can bring

My window is too small and not even clear

I wish I could see the moon

I wish I could see home

Stressin'

Stressin

       ~group poem

Stressin

yea the time is rough

I done had enough

Stressin

can't wait to go home

felling all alone

Stressin

missing my mom

missing my friends

Stressin

people always in my face

like please go away

Stressin

got a slash through that stuff

make me feel like I'm less

Stressin

trynna knock me down

but I hold my ground

Stressin

they trynna say I'm something I'm not

but let me not, I'm worth more

than what they thought

Stressin

got a headache everyday

so stay out my face

Stressin

family calls me a headache

this is too much to take

Stressin

got that quick temper yeah

so lemme get some air

Stressin

can't seem to learn a lesson

cuz I don't stop messin

Stressin

stay comin at my neck

try to play me like a deck

Stressin

stay getting me tight

say you know me, yea right

Stressin

I was not born a toy

so stop playin wit me boii

Stressin

steady forcing me to talk

why don't you get up and take a walk

Stressin

staying stuck in the same place

trying to run but there's a knot in my shoelace

Stressin

trying not to pout

got put on blackout

Stressin

tryna tell me what to do

tryna tell me that I'm loose

Stressin

yea I'm stressin, yea I'm stressin

but what I need is a blessin

Tryin' (Group)

Tryin'

~a group poem

Tryin

I say that I'm trying

But people think I'm lying

So why keep trying?

Tryin

If I said I wasn't

I'd be lyin

Tryin

Doing all I can

Tryin

Sometimes it's hard

To keep from cryin

Tryin

Keep moving forward

Even though I'm scared of dyin

Tryin

Doing all I can

Tryin

To go home

To get some extra sleep

To just be left alone

Tryin

To find my bed

So I can pass out

Tryin

To get my life

So I can get my dreams

Tryin

Doing all I can

Tryin

Hard to stop lying

To spread my wings and start flying

Tryin

To work in McDonalds

To fry my french fries

Tryin

To succeed in life

To make a good living

Tryin

Doing all I can

Tryin

Don't start sighing

If I keep on trying

I'll soon be flying

Trying

I'm tired of trying

Now I'm just doing

They've All Come to Look for America

                                         -Simon and Garfunkel

(A group poem in which each of the boys contributed stanzas)

America, TAKE ONE

The land of Big Macs

The home of the Golden Arches

America is the land of the free

But some may disagree

How free is the land of the free?

Red, white, and blue

These colors fly true

If all the people of America only knew

Oh, I'm proud to live in America

Where the government is kind

And I'd like to thank all the men who worked

To manipulate my mind

And I proudly accept

The propaganda, the lies, and the tricks

If they say three plus three is five

Then it never equaled six

America, TAKE TWO

The land of the Yankees

The home of the NFL

That sounds a little better

But there's still more

This is America we're talking about after all

The things you want out of life

Come with a cost

So look deep

Freedom

The thing of grace

The thing wanted by all

Can be gone in a blink

Freedom

Bought by soldiers

Protected by our own

Taken by our enemies

America, TAKE THREE

The land of the free

And the home of the brave

Freedom

We defend those

Who can't defend themselves

No matter the consequence

This is democracy at its best

The first place created on its principles

The first place where dreams can become reality

Recovery (a group poem)

Recovery

(A group poem in which each member contributed at least one stanza)

Turn the key in your old ride

Hear a crack from the inside

Hear it sputter, fail to run.

You know your old car is done

I was addicted to drugs but then I sought recovery

My life was coming to an end

Rehabilitation was for me

I made some mistakes

Made my way into the juvenile hall

Now I'm here for recovery

Recovery, recovery

Yes I really need it

God, can you help me find the way?

Recovery, recovery

Something that everybody needs

Recovery can make you successful and believe

Temptation is pulling me

To go back to my old ways

No, I can't go back

Fix it before it's too late

You can heal from addiction

Just remember, Love can be a drug

It's all about the willpower to change it

But I'm 16, not brainless

Besides I knew the truth at 10

I said I'll never do it again

It was hard to break my old ways

Been doing me for years, never wanted to change

But I did it for me and I did it for my family

Times I want to break down

But don't because my family's still by my side

And now it's time for recovery

Yes, I knew I really needed it

At the end was success

And my family was really proud of me

Recovery, recovery

Help me, help me

Just want to be a better person.

Recovery ain't easy

Hard times, rough life

But got faith in life

My life is in recovery

For things I've done wrong

But now it's time to make changes

Call someone to take it away

Into the shop where it will stay

Until it's fit to drive again.

Pain (Group)

Note: This is a group poem in which each of the boys in the writing group contributed at least one 3 line stanza on their chosen theme of Pain.

Pain

Pain is indescribable

Pain is an enigma

Why won't my pain go away?

Pain is bad

Pain is really bad

Pain is like a pencil in my back

In the beginning

The pain was tolerable

As sunburn soothed by aloe

But the pain worsened

like skin blistered

from the touch of red hot iron

My pain is unbearable

It splits my skull like a knife

going through butter

It's like the look a man gets

when he knows he's going to die

The pain in his eyes gives it all away

This pain is like a sore

that won't go away

I try to itch it but it just stays.

All I see is pain

I'm living unashamed

But also dying by the gain

How can I maintain

With these demons in my brain

Pain can be violent

Pain can be silent

Silent waters run deep

You reap what you sow

And you sow what you reap.

The pain was not physical

Heartbreak is

The pain searing inside my chest

My pain is not your pain

It's all my own

So don't you ask

Just leave me alone

Note: This is a group poem in which each of the boys in the writing group contributed at least one 3 line stanza on their chosen theme of being Here.

 

 

Here

Like the first time I saw this place

When I got locked up there was fear

But that's now gone to a different me

Jumping hurdles day by day

Mending the broken relationships

Not just to better ourselves

Like when I first came down for treatment

Like when I throw my hissy fits

Like when I finally give in

It is the test of all tests

We have to be our best

On a very long quest

The staff makes you tired

It's like the running of the bulls

And I have been on my last strand

Like the staff trying to help out

When the white walls are closing inward

It all stops when I finally give in

I feel like a puppet

Will I be released?

Will I ever hear the trumpet?

Nowhere to run

Only in my mind

Just darkness, I can't see the sun

Doing the same things, just a different day

I'm always wondering when it will finally end

But in the end I know I will be better

These walls be talking to me

They be bumpin' like some speakers

Letting me know I have a family waiting

And I'm sittin' in this room

with nothing new

because it's the same thing just a different day

And there's nothing I can do

But do what I have to do

because I know I have a family waiting

But I be gettin' in my head

Feeling empty like I'm dead

While sitting here always debating

Because it gets old, it gets old

Growing gray hairs

Like it was some wisdom to be told

And you have two ears and one mouth

So you can listen more than you talk

Because well done is better than well said.