Thursday, February 28, 2019

Turn Back Time





Turn Back Time

If I could turn back time
Nine years ago
I would fix my thought process


If I could turn back time
To tell somebody I needed help
I wouldn't be writing this poem


If I could turn back time
To tell everyone the truth
I would be in a better position


If I could turn back time
To tell my mom I love her
I would do this in a heartbeat


Now read from bottom to top
And see what I would do now
If I could turn back time

Not Giving Up


I Made this Poem Because I Want to Let Everyone Know I’m Not Giving Up


It’s hard to get from here to there
If you never get out of bed
You lie a lot to fool your friends
But you fooled yourself instead.

It’s harder to get from here to there
If you set your goals too high
Then nothing ever works out right
Too soon you no longer try.

But the hardest way to get from here to there
Is when all you ever do
Is count up the years and miles to go
Then you’re through before you’re through

So how do you get from here to there
Well you first must believe you can
Let no one tell you differently
Its your life and its in your hands.

Then turn your dreams into your goals
And see what you need now
To satisfy the requirements:
The why, the where, and the how.

At first you’re overwhelmed, of course
There is so much you don’t know
But keep your faith, be strong and sure
For you do have a way to go.

Take careful steps and do them right
Take pride in each thing done
Don’t look to far ahead of yourself
Just that next step yet to come.

Before you know it you’ll be there, friend
Your dreams will then be real
And you’ll be standing where I am now
Telling others how good it feels.

You’ll tell them not to quit themselves
To have faith, though it’s hard to bear
So they will know it can be done
They, too, can get from here to there.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

There's Something Wrong With Me


There’s Something Wrong With Me


I always lie
All I ever do is cry
I freeze in fear as people walk by
Please answer me why
I’ve seen therapists
They say, “Here’s a number.”
They can handle this
I’ve seen psychologists they
Say, “Make sure she takes this.”
I’ve seen doctors they
Say, “Take her here. I’m sorry sir.”
My life goes by in a blur
Always hearing people say,
What’s wrong with her?”



Storms




Storms


They come with fire and they leave with ice
The pain crawls up my veins
Pleading and begging me to attack
The icy feeling crawls down my spine
After attacking my arms, my thighs, and my stomach
The pain of relief floats away
The next day the pain of my attack is throbbing
Worries come stabbing my mind
Can anyone see them?
Is anyone going to judge me?
Where is my hoodie that I wear when the attacks happen?
How am I going to hide these?
My family tells me I need to STOP
I tell myself I need to STOP
The storms are so powerful
Words of those who hurt me
Pictures of ones that I’ve lost
They know how to kick your feet off the ground
So you can lay on your back with no air
I constantly wonder if the storms will take me
I wonder will I control them or will they control me.




Red Stripes





Red Stripes


I love these red stripes
The sight eases my pain
So I choose to continue wearing them
Over and over they go and reappear

Every morning I open up those drawers
Wondering what size will I wear today
Do I want them big so everyone can see?
Or small enough so my color is only for me?

Choose, choose, choose…
Okay, I’ll just grab one
What’ve I got to lose?
My life, more blood, another trip to the ER

Red stripes
You control my life
You ease my strife
But everyday you make me choose life or knife

Oh no…
The color is too deep
Mom?! Please help me!”
I wait but she’s not there

I feel like I can’t breathe
My eyes are shutting
No...keep fighting!
My last breath is taken





Why Me?


Why me?


I can never know when you’re going to come
But I know when you are going to leave
It hurts more when you leave
But when you leave I crave you
I miss you, I want you
Could I have your number? No
But you have mine and you have my time
Depression
You hurt my heart, my arms, and my stomach
Friends always wanted me to stop
But you always had me tied around your fingers
Why did you choose me?

Monster


Monster


Monster, monster go away
You make me want to run away
Every time I hide you find another way
To taunt my every move and
Consume my every thought with
A vicious cycle
Here we go again!”, I say to myself
When will it ever end?”, I ask myself
How could I have done all this to myself
By making one careless mistake?
I have opened the doors to a game I
Do not want to play
I have sold my soul
To the devil himself
Will there ever be a way
To get you out of my head?
From the moment I wake up
Till the time I go to sleep
You’re all that’s on my mind
How will I ever replace this waking thought?
How will I ever manage to get away?
Will I ever be able to escape your vicious spell?
It feels like I’ll be stuck with you till death do us part.