Learning from my Past

Learning from my Past

I lay awake at night thinkin'

of my pain, there's no way it

can get better, I have nothing

left to gain.

I manage to keep my composure

when people are around, because they don't

understand me, that's why I barely

make a sound.

I smile when I have to, I break down

when I don't , I know I should be

strong, But my mind is telling me I won't.

So I plan to drink a little, take

some pills on top of it. It shouldn't take

long, soon enough I should be out of it.

I wake up in confusion, I don't know

where I am. Is this heaven or hell,

the land of the eternally damned.

I see my mom behind me, my head

in her hands. I say, “Mom I'm sorry.

I'm glad I'm not dead.”

I know it's not over, there's a long road

ahead. But I appreciate the little things because

I should be long dead. I've learned to live

each day like my last. I look forward to

the future and learning from my past.