Lil Brother

Lil Brother

Our life, it's been this

huge roller coaster.

We've been up and down

around and around

and back down at

the same spot

the ground.

And I never left you

until last year.

I had so much

built up from anger to fear

and I let it out on you.

Why would I dare?

You were my hero, you were my best friend.

You are the one I would share life with again.

We argued we fought but at the end

we were playing PS3 all over again.

Lil bro, no matter what happens

I will come back for you.

I will tear down this world and build

it back for you because you

are my hero you are my friend.

Brainstorm

Brainstorm

I got so many things running

through my mind.

I try to look for thoughts.

But they are hard to find.

The lightning is vicious.

The thunder is loud.

My brain is getting covered

by the humongous cloud.

The Sun's heat rays

are starting to overpower.

The cloud is disappearing.

The thoughts are starting to shower.

Now the storm is faded

and the thoughts are back.

The rainbow is colorful

but my thoughts are black.

The sun is glowing

with it's venomous light.

My mind is shining

but it will never be bright.

Frustrations

Frustrations

The anger is boiling my blood.

The voices are never stopping.

My frustration is explosive.

My emotions are venomous.

The anger is getting hotter.

The blood is getting thicker.

The mind is always running

with thoughts that are swollen.

My heart is dark.

My mind is numb,

the emotions are starting to take control.

My hands ball into fist.

My ears are steaming.

My tongue is biting.

And my eyes are poisonous.

The actions are harmful.

They lead me to destruction.

My fist flies into walls.

My voice trembles with no sorrow.

Finally I cool down.

With the blowing wind

the emotions are fading.

My thoughts are colorful.

My brain is in comfort.

The blood is cold.

The frustration is gone.

But they are hiding inside.

Learning from my Past

Learning from my Past

I lay awake at night thinkin'

of my pain, there's no way it

can get better, I have nothing

left to gain.

I manage to keep my composure

when people are around, because they don't

understand me, that's why I barely

make a sound.

I smile when I have to, I break down

when I don't , I know I should be

strong, But my mind is telling me I won't.

So I plan to drink a little, take

some pills on top of it. It shouldn't take

long, soon enough I should be out of it.

I wake up in confusion, I don't know

where I am. Is this heaven or hell,

the land of the eternally damned.

I see my mom behind me, my head

in her hands. I say, “Mom I'm sorry.

I'm glad I'm not dead.”

I know it's not over, there's a long road

ahead. But I appreciate the little things because

I should be long dead. I've learned to live

each day like my last. I look forward to

the future and learning from my past.

Don't Dwell

Don't Dwell

Seventeen years of my life

I've been giving and forgiving

caring and sharing

but when I forgive,

I don't forget.

Not having a father wasn't the case,

being abused was

a disgrace.

I look at the past

but I don't dwell.

I live life and

have no regrets.

I learn from my

mistakes and keep

it moving and know

I have to keep

improving.

Giving up isn't a choice

but if I fall I

get back up and

show the world

I am not losing.